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Dear Sirs,
In recent times I've found it hard
To conduct my work with such retards:
With inept policy and lack of clue,
It simply can not continue.
My contract was to code web sites,
But ne'er it mentioned you gob-shites,
And hence I hit upon penning this
So I - not you - can take the piss.
I will be moving to a place
Where I can be a C# ace,
Not beaten down and oft berrated,
With all my innovations terminated.
Where transact-sequel is a skill,
And I need not turn to booze or pill
When SQLserver breathes its last:
DELETE FROM *'s incredibly fast...
A crap "developer" was the cause:
But quickly, behind your closed doors
Discussions follow with much urgency:
"Oh my god, he's from an agency!
We've paid in full their finders fee!"
(Then, at this point, illogically)
"There is no way we can dismiss,
Offload all this shit to Chris!"
And hence this note on your desk lands.
I'll wish you luck with shakes of hands:
You'll need it rather as, I fear,
It's luck that sees you through the year.
Not skill nor talent, insight nay,
Nor structured coding paves the way,
But bloat and kludge your code embraces:
Employees strain to keep straight faces
When lots of pounds you charge for this
(A fact your clients rarely miss
When they come knocking at your door
As deadlines slip a month or more)
Enough of this I've truely had!
I really think I must be mad
To have suffered this regeime so long:
Perpetuation is so wrong.
So a final comment to conclude all this:
I resign.
Thank you.
Total bliss!
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